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Jeff Tiedrich ✓

@itsJeffTiedrich · joined 20 Jun 2018

don't blame me, I voted for the email lady

1 066 557Followers
117Following
34 647Posts total
659.9KViews on collected posts

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Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
today we spin the Big Wheel of Moron™ and it lands on the ludicrous claim that Melania is busy planning lavish state dinners. also: why was Donny wincing in pain during a military flyover? all that and more in today's post. thank you for your attention. link is here: https://t.co
oh please, can we dispense with this fiction that Melly plans anything? the White House has an entire staff for that shit. Melania is the most detached First Lady in the history of forever. this is not Dolly Madison we’re talking about here. it’s more like Dolly I Don Geef A Fock. Mel doesn’t even live in the White House. she just shows up for whatever public events she’s contractually obligated to attend — but not until the check clears first. trust me, the only thing Melly plans about state dinners is how quickly she can get the fuck back to New York, and away from the barely-a-husband she despises.
12.6K views · 270 likes · 65 reposts · 4 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
here's today's post: "Donny winces in pain, Melania shuts off her brain. it’s a Big Wheel of Moron™ Thursday!" — what’s up with Dear Leader’s health? thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter so you never miss a post — https://t.co/YLrCWciIra 16.4K views · 207 likes · 57 reposts · 7 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
yesterday, the UK's new Prime Minister, Andy Burnham had his first face-to-face meeting with Preznit Fuckwit — and the encounter was just about as batshit as you could have imagined. thank you for your attention to today's post, in which I mock all that shit. link is here: https:
as a head of state, how can you possibly prep for that? it’s one thing to have your advisors brief you on what to expect. ‘sir, he’s a little bit— unusual.’ it’s another thing entirely to actually sit right beside him and smell the diaper, gaze at the clownish makeup, the rotting hands and the neckgina, and actually hear the gibberish seeping from his rancid anus-mouth — some fuckbrained nonsense about how ‘the UK has so many names, and you have to be educated.’ that’s right, PM Burham, everything you were told about how Donny is ‘as if Dunning and Kruger had a baby, and then dropped it on its head,’ is true.
15.5K views · 334 likes · 96 reposts · 8 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
Preznit Fuckwit gave a rambling, incoherent speech at the UN yesterday, and of course the idiot made a complete fool of himself, and embarrassed his country. thank you for your attention to today's post, in which I bring all the receipts. link is here: https://t.co/vnBGdwOPCg htt
Little Donny Fuckface is what would happen if an overripe diaper became a real boy. he’s that full of shit.
18.8K views · 349 likes · 92 reposts · 6 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
here's Wednesday's post: "Dear Leader craps the bed — and then himself — at the UN" he’s such a fucking embarrassment. thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter to keep getting the good stuff — https://t.co/vnBGdwOhMI https://t.co/vnBGdwOhMI 17.3K views · 332 likes · 82 reposts · 11 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
we're so used to the corporate press kowtowing to Preznit Fuckwit's infantile demands — but yesterday, they actually stood up to him. thank you for your attention to today's post, in which congratulate these weasels for finally showing some spine. how long will it last? link is h
it turns out that silenced-by-the-media Donny is my favorite Donny — and that unfamiliar feeling you’re experiencing right now? that’s elation, at the White House press pool, for finally doing the right thing. yesterday morning, the five major TV networks — ABC, CBS, CNN, NBC and even Fox News — announced that they were serving up to Dear Leader a generous slice of Fuck You Pie.
12.4K views · 253 likes · 63 reposts · 7 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
yesterday, the the major networks served up to Dear Leader a huge slice of Fuck You Pie, and boycotted all White House press events — leaving bottom-feeders like Newsmax to air amateurish silent videos. thank you for your attention to my coverage of this hilarious shit. link is h
holy shit. yesterday, we finally got the answer to that age-old conundrum: if Dear Leader opens his fat yap in the middle of the White House, and there’s no one from the press pool around to report on it, does he make a noise? the answer, it seems, is a resounding no.
9.9K views · 206 likes · 45 reposts · 2 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
here's Tuesday's post: "White House press corps, fuck yeah!" — who knew that doing the right thing could feel so good? thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter so you never miss a post — https://t.co/wQPXz1fCm2 https://t.co/wQPXz1fCm2 15.8K views · 205 likes · 55 reposts · 6 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
Preznit Fuckwit's idiotic plan to build some ginormous drone-and-sniper arch in the middle of DC is just his latest stupid idea in a lifetime of stupid ideas. thank you for your attention to today's post, in which I mock the insanity of it all. link is here: https://t.co/G14ac8JR
Little Donny Shit-For-Brains is all about the having stupidest fucking ideas you’ve ever heard. ‘five of my casinos have gone bankrupt. let’s open up a sixth.’ ‘everyone should inject bleach and guzzle horse paste.’ ‘you know what would be so easy to win? a war on Iran, that’s what.’ ‘I’m going to tease my six remaining strands of hair into some fucked-up rat’s nest of cotton candy bullshit.’ ‘oh, I know: let’s build some ginormous fugly arch that towers over everything else, and let’s stick it right in the middle of Washington, DC — oh, and let’s militarize it. let’s use it as an ammunition dump. and let’s include multiple sniper nests. yeah. and you know what? let’s put a drone port on top of it. yeah, fucking drones, bro. oh, man — that’s going to be so cool.’
18.9K views · 381 likes · 108 reposts · 11 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
here's today's post: "some fucked-up militarized sniper arch is the last thing we need right now" — I’ll tell you what We the People do need. thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter to keep getting the good stuff — https://t.co/6k6GWPnOFK 10.6K views · 194 likes · 48 reposts · 3 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
there's a reason why our founders put 'freedom of the press' right into the very first amendment. thank you for your attention to today's post, in which I explain it to the diapershittingest moron ever to crap himself raw in Oval Bordello. link is here, please read it: https://t.
of course, this whole fucktangle is about more than legal battles over who gets to be a reporter. the larger issue is, what kind of country do we want? one where the government and those who report on the government engage in an open and honest dialog? or one where some cranky Diaperload-in-Chief gets mad at words, and tries to hide his shitty crimes from public view? I know what Teddy Roosevelt’s answer would be. you can’t have a functioning democracy without freedom of the press. our founders knew that — that’s why they made the First Amendment the very first amendment. and contrary to whatever MAGA may think, there’s no clause in the Constitution that says anything about ‘in 250 years we try having a king again, only this time he’s really fucking dumb.’
19.7K views · 300 likes · 110 reposts · 4 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
here's Sunday's post: "what kind of shithole piss-baby president gets mad at reporters for reporting?" I’ll give you one guess. thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter so you never miss a post — https://t.co/SNZJ2cQ6tz https://t.co/SNZJ2cQ6tz 27.4K views · 400 likes · 96 reposts · 6 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
one MAGA preacher says that God is going to lower the price of gas. another is building an AI Jesus. and the House GOP now says that border walls are a commie plot. all that and more in "this week in stupid," my every-Saturday round-up of the dumbest shit that happened. links htt
19.4K views · 238 likes · 69 reposts · 29 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
our colicky piss-baby president bans the press from the White House, some MAGA preacher says God's going to lower gas prices, and Bobby Brainworms is going to solve chemtrails. all that and more in my 'this week in stupid,' thank you for your attention to to this matter. link is
19.4K views · 360 likes · 117 reposts · 9 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
it's Saturday, and it's time for "this week in stupid: September 19 edition" — God lowers prices, Donny airs his vices, and so much more... thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter to keep getting the good stuff — https://t.co/rkofqtSa8J 10K views · 121 likes · 37 reposts · 3 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
while everything goes to shit, and basic goods remain unaffordable, Dear Leader's Slovenian rent-a-wife is on social media, bragging about the lavish State Dinners she throws. shut the fuck up, Mel. thank you for your attention to today's post, in which I go ballistic. link is ht
20.9K views · 401 likes · 88 reposts · 9 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
here's Friday's post: "none of this shit is popular" — Dear Leader fucking sucks, and Republicans are going to get crushed in the midterms. thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter so you never miss a post — https://t.co/WY0uiU1cZp https://t.co/WY0uiU1cZp 9.8K views · 169 likes · 53 reposts · 8 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
in the Senate yesterday, a comatose Glitch McConnell had to be reminded of how he was supposed to vote. I'm sorry, but that's just elder abuse. thank you for your attention to today's post, in which I unpack the video, second by second. link is here: https://t.co/XooO8VsJy2 https
let me narrate what’s happening in that clip. as the roll call vote to advance a farm bill takes place, Republican Committee Chairman John Boozman leans over to remind Mitch how to vote. McConnell then sits in silence, unresponsive as his name is called. Republican Senator John Hoeven leans over and says and says to Mitch, ‘no.’ a panicked McConnell aide — the one in a red dress — dives towards the table, because that’s not how Mitch is supposed to vote. his name is called again, and this time he manages to croak out a ‘yes,’ barely loud enough to hear, and the bill passes by one vote, 12-11. what in the actual fuck did we all just watch?
16.7K views · 351 likes · 95 reposts · 3 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
here's Thursday's post: "Mitch glitches, Holy Mike wimps out, and Dear Leader is a fucking moron" — or, as we call it, Wednesday. thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter to keep getting the good stuff — https://t.co/XooO8VsJy2 https://t.co/XooO8VsJy2 22.4K views · 301 likes · 82 reposts · 7 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
good news, pigfuckers! the FBI won't fire you just for indulging in some barnyard antics. Senators wanted to know why. "because reasons," answered Krazee-Eyes Kash. thank you for your attention to today's post, in which I mock the insanity of it all. link is here: https://t.co/rz
16.8K views · 315 likes · 85 reposts · 11 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
unaffordable goods and services. a surveillance state gone wild. out-of-control AI doing whatever it wants. these are actual problems we face — but Dear Leader is too busy throwing a shit-fit over his name on the Kennedy Center to care. thank you for your attention to today's htt
it’s hard to believe that anyone could be this infantile, much less a nation’s chief executive. and for what? for not getting his way over having his name on the side of a building. how completely fucking embarrassing is that? but that’s what this stupid shit is fixated on. that’s what consumes him, as the world falls to pieces all around us: his fucked-up obsession with slapping his name on everything. it could be nice if this raving lunatic would be this concerned about fixing any of the problems that he himself created. look at what we face: inflation. the price of everything going through the roof. masked federal thugs roaming the streets of our cities, shooting with impunity anyone they care to. a surveillance state gone wild, with Flock cameras all the fuck over the place. janky, six-fingered plagiarism robots escaping containment and running wild in ways we can’t predict — or stop. an energy crunch that’s only getting worse, caused by Donny’s unwinnable war of choice against
10.1K views · 111 likes · 40 reposts · 5 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
here's today's post: "it’s a day of infantile meltdowns as Donny gets his ass kicked by judges" — grow the fuck up, bro. thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter so you never miss a post — https://t.co/vDRfB1nVXU https://t.co/vDRfB1nVXU 5.1K views · 120 likes · 34 reposts · 5 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
okay — *something* happened that terrified everyone who makes AI tech. they won't tell us what, but now they want it reined in. but Preznit Fuckwit won't listen, because he's corrupt, and too stupid to understand what's at stake. thank you for your attention to today's post. http
tell me, is it a bad sign when the guy who helped invent AI tech gets so terrified of what he’s done that he quits his job and starts blowing the whistle — and then, his own boss and the boss’s own cronies go ‘oh fuck, he’s right, this shit’s hella evil’? that sounds pretty fucking terrifying to me. isn’t that the plot of umpteen science fiction books any movies — some rogue AI decides that humanity needs to be killed to death — or turned into batteries?
11.8K views · 276 likes · 74 reposts · 5 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
Mitch McConnell finally got wheelchaired out of his terrarium yesterday—but he looked like shit, and reporters weren't allowed to record or get near him. how do we know he even has a functioning brain at this point? we don't. thank you for your attention to today's post. link is
this is not how a functioning government works. this is how a clown show works. wheeling Zombie Mitch from place to place is just elder abuse at this point. why is he being dog-and-ponied around? is it because he grunted ‘iwaaaagwrrrrg’ and one of his handlers went, ‘Mitch says he wants to go to work’? fuck off, Mitch. stay home. you’ve had a long, distinguished career of being the most evil person in the Senate, making life worse for We the People. bravo. job well done. now step down, and try to enjoy what remains of your life.
23.8K views · 784 likes · 142 reposts · 23 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
here's today's post: "holy shit, Glitch McConnell is kinda sorta somewhat almost alive!" — okay, the lights are clearly on. but is anyone home? thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter to keep getting the good stuff — https://t.co/vRPUeYoWOB 18.4K views · 222 likes · 60 reposts · 9 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
Preznit Fuckwit wasted millions of dollars on a stupid Irish playdate with Natalie. if he wants to play patty-cake with his weird, braying diaper nurse, let him do so at home. thank you for your attention to today's post, in which I go ballistic. link is here: https://t.co/tnY4QJ
so, who pays for all that? you and me, that’s who. all so Donny and Natty can play patty-cake in a different time zone. fuck that. if Dear Leader wants to hang with the Carrier of the Royal Diaper Bag, and watch her bray like some love-smitten hyena, let him do it at home. if he’s so horny to be at one of his golf motels, he’s got plenty of them right here in the good old US of A.
18.8K views · 435 likes · 111 reposts · 6 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
here's today's post: "why the fuck were millions of dollars wasted on Donny’s pointless Emotional Support Trip to Ireland?" — everything could have been done right here at home. thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter so you never miss a post — 24K views · 413 likes · 97 reposts · 7 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
the people of Dublin did not exactly roll out the red carpet for Donny. nor did Ireland's President Connolly. Dear Leader found out the hard way he's not very popular abroad. boo fucking hoo. thank you for your attention to today's post, in which I bring the receipts. link is htt
26.3K views · 966 likes · 194 reposts · 9 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
here's today's post: "Dublin gives Donny the welcome he deserves." céad míle fáilte — now get the fuck out. thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter to keep getting the good stuff — https://t.co/27emj9JY2E https://t.co/27emj9JY2E 23.9K views · 307 likes · 81 reposts · 5 replies Open on X →
Jeff Tiedrich ✓@itsJeffTiedrich
MAGA gets hella mad at a TV show, the GOP drools over Hasan Piker's weenus, and Dear Leader drools while sleeping though a 9/11 memorial. all that and more in 'this week in stupid,' my every-Saturday wrap-up of the dumbest fucking shit that happened. link is here: https://t.co/ZO
the show that’s got the MAGAsphere all hot and bothered is ‘The Gentlemen,’ a British comedy whose premise is — and I quote — ‘a young aristocrat inherits his family’s massive country estate, only to discover it serves as the front for a massive underground cannabis empire.’ yes, I know — they used ‘massive’ twice in the same sentence. look, not everyone is as brilliant a writer as I am. but I digress. the apparent issue here is that somehow, a neck joke posted to social media by Netflix insults the hallowed memory of misshapen garden gnome Charlie Kirk, who got necksecuted by a gunshot one year ago this week.
19.9K views · 216 likes · 55 reposts · 3 replies Open on X →

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Medyan görüntülenme16 562bu hesap14 6481M–10M için medyan
Erişim, %1.55%bu hesap0.74%1M–10M için medyan
Etkileşim, %2.46%bu hesap0.70%1M–10M için medyan
ÖlçütBu hesap1M–10M için medyanOran
Gönderi başına medyan görüntülenme16 56214 6481.13×
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Growth & engagement

How the posts we collected actually performed: views and reaction rate post by post, what the audience did with them, and where the follower count goes.

Views per post

19.4K19 Sep
19.4K
27.4K20 Sep
19.7K
10.6K21 Sep
18.9K
15.8K22 Sep
9.9K
12.4K
17.3K23 Sep
18.8K
15.5K
16.4K24 Sep
12.6K

Last 14 collected posts, oldest on the left. The scale is logarithmic: one post can outrun the rest a hundred times over.

Engagement rate per post

2.51%19 Sep
1.77%
1.85%20 Sep
2.10%
2.30%21 Sep
2.65%
1.69%22 Sep
2.55%
2.62%
2.46%23 Sep
2.38%
2.84%
1.65%24 Sep
2.69%

Reactions — likes, reposts, replies and quotes — divided by views. Median for 1M–10M accounts is 0.70%.

What the audience does

Likes77.3%9 537 in total
Reposts19.7%2 431 in total
Replies1.9%231 in total
Quotes0.3%31 in total
Bookmarks0.9%112 in total

Share of every reaction we collected for this account. Replies mean argument, reposts mean endorsement, bookmarks mean the post was worth keeping.

The follower curve appears once this account has two daily snapshots — we take one a day, and this one is on its first.

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