Dad Jokes ✓
@Dadsaysjokes · joined 05 Sep 2017
Best dad jokes on twitter - we’re also on Instagram and Facebook.
664 283Followers
53Following
16 088Posts total
2MViews on collected posts
Latest posts
Looking for new posts…
Playing Frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to just running after a Frisbee.
24.3K views · 392 likes
· 12 reposts · 0 replies
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A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, "Is this good for wasps?"
Assistant: "No. It kills them."
29.1K views · 688 likes
· 39 reposts · 6 replies
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Job interviewer: "At the start you'll be earning £20,000; later that will increase to £40,000.
Me: "OK, I'll come back later."
16.3K views · 273 likes
· 11 reposts · 0 replies
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I hate it when people act all intellectual and talk about Mozart when they've never even seen one of his paintings.
8.9K views · 85 likes
· 4 reposts · 6 replies
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Me: It doesn't have a tail so I'm pretty sure it's a hamster.
Tech support: *sigh*
Fine. Right click on your hamster...
10.1K views · 99 likes
· 8 reposts · 0 replies
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When I'm behind a slow car I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see it isn't my fault
9.2K views · 131 likes
· 3 reposts · 1 replies
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Wife: sometimes I like to mess with my husband and hide his stuff where he can't find it.
Like I put his shoes in the shoe closet, his jacket on the hanger and his keys on the key hook.
9.3K views · 93 likes
· 4 reposts · 2 replies
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At my funeral, I want a group of Italian men in black suits to walk up, and say,
"We'll miss you, boss".
So my family thinks I was mixed up in something mysterious.
4.3K views · 39 likes
· 2 reposts · 1 replies
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Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
4.5K views · 26 likes
· 3 reposts · 0 replies
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I told my wife i wanted to be cremated.
She made an appointment for Tuesday.
23.7K views · 293 likes
· 20 reposts · 7 replies
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I wanted to have a nice summer body for people to look at.. but I realized I like food more than I like people.
20.8K views · 357 likes
· 24 reposts · 3 replies
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I recently opened a company selling trampolines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are going through the roof.
31.1K views · 673 likes
· 34 reposts · 7 replies
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I hate it when TV shows say they contain
"adult situations" but then don't show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up after their kids.
3.8K views · 28 likes
· 2 reposts · 2 replies
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My favorite thing is to clean the kitchen so I can cook dinner so I can clean the kitchen again until I die.
22.7K views · 360 likes
· 16 reposts · 4 replies
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@Dadsaysjokes I bought a German hammer, it broke the first time I used it. I have had a cheap Chinese hammer for 7 years, abused it and besides a bit of rust still perfect. A hammer
1.7K views · 41 likes
· 0 reposts · 0 replies
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@Dadsaysjokes >le german engineering meme in 2026 https://t.co/G1UiMwqQa4
3.9K views · 57 likes
· 1 reposts · 6 replies
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Against accounts of the same size
24 posts from the last 90 days, next to the 100K–1M follower range. shown far beyond its own audience, and the audience reacts.
Median views13 971this account5 983median for 100K–1M
Reach, %2.10%this account1.49%median for 100K–1M
Engagement, %1.65%this account0.93%median for 100K–1M
| Metric | This account | Median for 100K–1M | Ratio |
|---|---|---|---|
| Median views per post | 13 971 | 5 983 | 2.34× |
| Reach (views ÷ followers) | 2.10% | 1.49% | 1.41× |
| Engagement rate | 1.65% | 0.93% | 1.77× |
Others in this range → Compare with another account → How these benchmarks are built →
Growth & engagement
How the posts we collected actually performed: views and reaction rate post by post, what the audience did with them, and where the follower count goes.
Views per post
4.3K13 Sep
4.2K
4.5K
4.3K
9.3K14 Sep
9.2K
10.1K
8.9K
25.5K15 Sep
16.3K
29.1K
24.3K
29.3K16 Sep
28.1K
Last 14 collected posts, oldest on the left. The scale is logarithmic: one post can outrun the rest a hundred times over.
Engagement rate per post
0.83%13 Sep
0.70%
0.64%
0.98%
1.07%14 Sep
1.47%
1.06%
1.06%
2.53%15 Sep
1.74%
2.52%
1.66%
6.22%16 Sep
3.09%
Reactions — likes, reposts, replies and quotes — divided by views. Median for 100K–1M accounts is 0.93%.
What the audience does
Likes92.7%28 340 in total
Reposts3.3%1 004 in total
Replies0.6%181 in total
Quotes0.0%15 in total
Bookmarks3.4%1 042 in total
Share of every reaction we collected for this account. Replies mean argument, reposts mean endorsement, bookmarks mean the post was worth keeping.
The follower curve appears once this account has two daily snapshots — we take one a day, and this one is on its first.
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